Monday, July 29, 2013

AH and BSteer are NOT Sacrilegious

Another post that was never shared for some reason. Only 3 days left for me to get these out. Enjoy! - AH

So, Brittany and I have this thing... where sometimes we praise different manifestations of Jesus. It's not sacrilegious! As Brittany puts it, Jesus is already part of everything, so we're just recognizing his presence in specific areas of our lives. Not to mention, Jesus probably has a great sense of humor and approves of Holy Laughter.

Also, she started it, not me. If anyone's getting smote, it's BSteer.

We might want to be on the lookout for airborne pianos just in case.

This whole thing started with Brittany's first recognition of Olympic Jesus. You may remember that she managed to procure fish and chips from Captain D's and make it back to the apartment before the Olympic Opening Ceremony began. She made the trip in record time and attributed her speedy return to the intervention of Olympic Jesus. Throughout the Olympics, we praised Olympic Jesus when cool stuff happened, when athletes had really good attitudes, and when we tuned in just in the nick of time for prime time viewing, specific races, and the Closing Ceremony. Olympic Jesus even acted through our dear friend and apartment crasher Alexa, who brought me a chicken sandwich in my hour of need when I was really hungry and really didn't want to miss the Spice Girls in the Closing Ceremony.

Of course, both Brittany and I agree that Olympic Jesus is the same guy as Regular Jesus. We also agree that Jesus is probably a fan of the Olympics, so he wouldn't mind being called Olympic Jesus. We also agree that if Jesus competed in the Olympics he would win ALL the medals. Olympic Jesus. It's a thing.

After this, different variations of Jesus began popping up in other elements of our lives.

Take for example Chinese Food Jesus, or Chinese Jesus for short (does that make us sacrilegious and ethnically offensive? I hope not - we have good intentions). 

In case you didn't know, Brittany and I both love the groundbreaking television drama Pretty Little Liars. In fact, this shared love served as an additional bonding element when I moved into E26. We even hosted PLL viewing parties.

 This kid gets it.

Oftentimes the stress and excitement of waiting for a new episode of PLL would overwhelm us to the point that it affected our ability to cook dinner. On nights such as these, or whenever Brittany doesn't want to cook and I don't want to make a sandwich, we take advantage of one of the local eateries in town that will prepare food for us for a nominal fee. Or sometimes Brittany and I just want an excuse to eat Chinese food.

One night we were in a bit of a hurry, quite hungry, and very nervous that we would miss the beginning of PLL. Anyone who watches the show knows that if you miss the beginning of the show, you are LOST. You'll never catch up. It's that complicated. True story.

Long story short, we got our honey chicken and fortune cookies and made it back to E26 just in time for the show. And our food was delicious. And PLL blew our minds. We said our thanks to Chinese (food) Jesus, which I guess also makes him PLL Jesus.

Next we experienced Cookie Jesus. Brittany's delightful Auntie Terry came to visit us a few weeks ago (Editor's note: that was back in like, September. That's how old this post is. Carry on.) and brought with her a mason jar full of cookie ingredients As you can probably guess based on how often food figures into our shenanigans, Brittany and I love cookies. She took on the task of baking while I did homework (because she loves me) but forgot to set the timer for one of the batches of cookies. By some miracle, which we're crediting to divine intervention, she took those cookies out of the oven at precisely the right time. And y'all... Those cookies were delicious. Real delicious. The only explanation has to be Cookie Jesus.

Finally, I'd like to share a little bit about Pumpkin Jesus, who appeared to Brittany in the form of a bagel and a really great day and to me in the form of a text message. I believe this speaks for itself.

This is basically how all of our texting conversations go.

Thank you, Regular Jesus, for showing up in our lives in such unique ways and sprinkling our shenanigans with joy.

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